When I grow up…

The other day while I was contemplating whether I should start a blog, I began to think about high school and what I thought I wanted to do with my life when I was young.

As a very young child I went through all the popular careers girls at the time wanted to have when they grew up…ballerina, teacher, airline stewardess (in the 70’s there was no such thing as politically correct)…and as I got older it changed. When I was about ten I decided I would be a veterinarian. I have always loved animals. My family has always had dogs. Then I got my first kitten and found out I was allergic to cats. My dreams were shattered.

Then in high school I found I had a gift for several things. One was art. I had always taken art in school, and loved to paint and draw, but I realized in high school that I had a talent for it. Then I met two brothers at my school that REALLY had artistic talent. Crazy, amazing talent. Maybe I wasn’t so great after all. The second was dance. It had never crossed my mind that dancing was something I could do, or that I would like. My freshman year in high school I tried out for flags with my friends. We all made it of course. No offense to all you former flags. When time came to try out again for my sophomore year, another friend decided she was going to try out for the drill team. She didn’t want to do it alone so she coerced me into trying out with her.

Now, as I said before, it had never even occurred to me to try out for a dance team. But being the pushover I am, I gave in to my friend and went with her. I went to the info meetings and found out what I needed to do, I worked on my kicks, and I made up a half-assed routine. Imagine my surprise when I found out I actually made it. Well, the backfired on me. I figured I would do it to make my friend happy and there was no way I would ever get picked. So I sucked it up and made the best of it. And wouldn’t you know, I actually liked it. Except for the make-up. I know, I know. I’m one of those rare, elusive creatures-a woman who hates wearing make-up. And those of you who have been there, you know that when you are doing the halftime show you don’t just wear make-up. You wear a whole cosmetics counter. I felt like a clown.

Anyway… back to the main story. The third thing I realized I had a knack for was writing. I had always enjoyed English. Yes, I said I enjoyed English. And yes, I was one of those kids. To this day I find myself having to bite my tongue when someone uses terrible grammar. I’m the one everyone goes to when they want something proofread. I took the AP English class in high school, and was fun and easy. And everyone else in the class hated me. The teacher told me she thought I should consider journalism in college. And I did. Consider it, that is. I actually didn’t end up going to college. Well, not right after high school anyway. I kick myself every day for that decision. That’s a whole different story though, so let’s move on.

So now we come to my adult life. I have never actually had a career. Jobs, yes. Lots of those. Let’s see… I’ve been a waitress, bank teller, line cook, restaurant manager, baker, cashier, busboy, dishwasher, preschool teacher, receptionist, cocktail waitress, secretary, and teacher’s aide. Sometimes all at once. Ok, that's an exaggeration. I have worked in copy and paste-up for a magazine, at the meat counter in a grocery store, as a graphic artist, and trying to sell Mary Kay. I say trying, because I never actually sold anything. I took a course to become certified to teach painting, was one class away from a certificate in baking & pastry, and attended college with the intent to get into teaching. That last one ended abruptly once I realized what a thankless job teaching is. I was working in a school and my best friend was a teacher. I saw the ugly, dark side of the education system. You didn’t see it, but I shuddered just then.

The point is… I have no career. I have always had a job, occasionally two or three. But to this day, I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. And I am grown up. Really grown up. In fact, I’m starting to grow old. Well, okay…older. Not ready to be old just yet.